The Mogg Gets Tries His Hand at Strategic Planning

Welcome everyone to the ERG’s daily news conference.

We wondered what to speak about today after pulling together our ideas for the Northern Ireland Border in two days,  however my fellow and neighboring MP Liam Fox reminded me of the bru -ha-ha surrounding the West of England Joint Spatial Plan.  So after tacking star wars and global military intervention in our stride, its time to be ambitious, time to be positive and solve our housing problem. Our planning laws are sclerotic, we need more permissions, the whole system is gummed up.   So we have a solution.  These Garden Community Thingies are all the thing so a marvelous philanthropic landowner in the Mendips has offered the ground of his modest 16th Century Pile to build on.  West Harptree Garden village will offer a marvelous opportunity for ordinary people, who simply cant afford to live in Somerset  to take in fresh air, the thrill of freshly split fox blood  (sorry Liam)  and the invigorating taste of lead in game. Of course some of my chums are a bit concerned about attracting the sort of banksy, beatnik, fried, slacker,trip-hopping, crypto rasterfari-cube heads from Bristol, so they will be given work.  Lots of jobs going for footman, butler, housekeeper and cook.  This of course is just how it used to be, it gave us Cotswolds villages and all the places National trust members visit and it didnt need those interfering socialist town planners did it. Whats more in the spirit of philanthropy the whole proceeds will go toward restoring a Grade I listed estate in Yorkshire. In our post Brexit future we must take inspiration from our entrepreneurial forebears from Bristol.  Not content to send empty ships across the Atlantic returning from Africa they filled them to the gunnels with commodities free from pettifogging European regulation on live animals.  Why have fee movement when you can sell the same for free trade.  It will make everyone richer. Same time tomorrow.

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