Job Advert in the Holy See of Rome

An extraordinary job advert has been published in the Church Times for Archbishop of Canterbury.

You cant really imagine that for Pope or Iranian Supreme Spiritual leader could you?  Heres what the advert might look like if advertised by the Vatican – lets hope the current occupant lives to a ripe old age.

Sede Vacante in the Holy See of Rome: Pope, Patriarch of the West, Vicar of Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman Province, Sovereign of the State of the Vatican City, Servant of the Servants of God

I Cardinal-Camerlengo of the church has confirmed no breath through a mirror - The pope is dead - hence the interregnum of Cardinal or Rome has come into effect – in accordance with church doctrine their is no vacancy.

As the new pope must be infallible we cannot interview ‘candidates’ however the coming conclave of the Sacred College of Cardinals must open themselves to the grace of the Holy Spirit, as never before in their priestly lives, for it is the Spirit through them, his agents, who elevates to the throne of the Vicar of Christ, the one and only candidate whom Christ wishes to guide his Church on Earth.

Any person who in the interregnum wishes to comment on the needs of the wider Church or the Diocese of Rome, or who wishes to propose candidates should email pope.interregnum@vatican.org or write to the following by xxx.  They will be ignored – please refer to Universi Dominici Gregis.  Correspondence from Sedevacantists will result in excommunication.

Tarcisio Bertone Camerlengo of the Holy Roman ChurchCardinal-Bishop of Frascati

Submissions will be received but unfortunately we will not be able to enter into correspondence.
No pension.  All expenses paid. The Pope will have full use of the Apostolic Palace and Castlel Gandolfi in the summer.  The pope is  is not allowed to have any personal worldly possessions, except for books. However three bags containing gold, silver, and copper coins will be placed in the coffin each containing contains one coin for each year of your reign, the only monetary compensation you receive for service.
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.Romans 6:23 
If it were legal under EU law we would say women and homosexuals need not apply.  There are no age limits, successful candidates have ranged between 11 and 79 years old at election, senility has not been a bar.  A criminal record, keeping several mistresses, senility or professed disbelief in god has not precluded election, and the college has been open to financial inducement or election at the point of a sword.  According to 12th Century prophesy you come from the order of St Benedict and be the last occupant of the post before ‘Petrus Romanus returns to feed his flock amid many tribulations; after which the seven-hilled city will be destroyed and the dreadful Judge will judge the people. The End’.
The appointment process will be concluded with a whiff of white smoke.  Failure to elect an agreed candidate may result in schism and war. 
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About andrew lainton

International Urban Planner

Posted on March 31, 2012, in Humour. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. There was a real advertisement in The Times this week saying if you had anything to say about the appointment of the next Archbishop of Canterbury you could write or email the government’s appointment secretary or the archbishopric appointment secretary. If it had been 1st April I would have said it was a joke!

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